How to Stop a Divorce After You've Been Unfaithful
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Marcy_Cook]Marcy Cook
If you are on the edge of divorce but still love your spouse there are many ways you can stop your divorce before it's too late. It all depends on why your spouse wants the divorce in the first place. If you are the cause of the divorce because of your infidelity then this article will address some things you should and shouldn't do.
If you really want to stop a divorce you have to start taking responsibility for your actions.
Start by being honest with yourself. How likely is it that you will stray again? Maybe you are straying because you are not getting something from your spouse that you need. Or maybe you are a cheating spouse just because it is your nature and it is very likely you will do it again.
If you are not getting something that you need from your spouse then you need to say that to your partner. Don't tell them you will never stray again because the fact is until you get what you need from your spouse you will not be able to remain faithful.
You may need to go to couples counseling to get down to the root cause of your infidelity and what your spouse is not giving you. In that type of a setting you can both be calm and cool and a counselor can help you wade through all the "double talk" that couples often use to communicate with each other.
Many times just by your suggesting couples counseling you can stop a divorce in its tracks. And, the benefits you receive from the counselor will put you both on track to giving each other what you need to move forward and never stray again.
On the other hand if you have been unfaithful just because that is who you are, but you still want to stop your divorce, then you are going to have to work even harder. You are going to have to prove that you are totally trustworthy. Couples counseling will also work in this situation but the work is going to be on your part. After all, your spouse didn't do anything - you did!
If you have been unfaithful just because that's" who you are" ...then face up to reality and be honest with your spouse. Tell them that is who you think you are. But, let's be real...you weren't born that way. Now you must find out why you cheat and then work to change that in yourself.
It's not enough to tell your spouse you will change. She or he won't believe it anyway. As the saying goes - actions speak louder than words. You are going to have to do a number of things to regain your spouse's trust.
1.) Own up to your spouse - tell them what you did and why
2.) Show them you have changed - don't tell them - SHOW THEM!
3.) Seek as much relationship advice as you can.
4.) Don't get upset or argue when your spouse shows they still can't trust you.
5.) Get used to the fact that you have to earn your spouse's respect and trust.
By showing that you are making a very big effort to change, your spouse will gradually begin to trust you again and you can [http://www.magic-of-makingup.net/]stop your divorce. It takes time though. Be patient. If you really want to stop your divorce you will have to go through a lot before your spouse can accept the fact that you have changed.
If you are seeking expert relationship advice you can visit [http://www.relationshipadviceresearched.com/]Relationship Advice Researched. There you will find a choice of a number of different relationship advice programs that will work for your particular situation.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marcy_Cook http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Stop-a-Divorce-After-Youve-Been-Unfaithful&id=1987089