What is your Motto in Life?

In the end, everything is a gag.
Charlie Chaplin

I hate life, I hate death and everything in between just doesn't interest me.
Chris Rapier

When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
Franklin P. Jones

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
Robert Anton Wilson

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Thomas Mann

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
Bertrand Russell

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.
Martin Luther King Jr.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
Paul Beatty

Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
Samuel Johnson

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. Mencken

Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.
Putt's Law

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.
Thornton Wilder

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. Mencken

Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand.
Putt's Law

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.
Thornton Wilder

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben

It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it.
Thomas Babington Macaulay

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past.
Robertson Davies

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
Cindy Gardner

Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Stephen King
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Elizabeth Taylor

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.
Evan Esar

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.
Pat Paulsen

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
Darrin Weinberg

Conceit is God's gift to little men.
Bruce Barton

There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else.
Cullen Hightower

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Horace Walpole

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.
Michel de Montaigne

Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality.
Nikola Tesla


The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
Douglas Adams

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
Ambrose Bierce

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
Bertrand Russell

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
Ann Landers

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
Russell Baker

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Matt Groening

If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. Wodehouse

I don't really trust a sane person.
Lyle Alzado

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
Albert Einstein

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Quentin Crisp

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
Frank Lloyd Wright

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
Walt Disney

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
Bob Wells

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner

The truth is always a compound of two half- truths, and you never reach it, because there is always something more to say.
Tom Stoppard

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Paul Fix

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy

I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.
Franklin P. Adams

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch

A motion to adjourn is always in order.
Robert Heinlein

Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
Marston Bates

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
Abraham Lincoln

These days an income is something you can't live without--or within.
Tom Wilson

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
Harry S Truman

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Unknown

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
Paul Gauguin

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.


I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J. D. Salinger

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
Pablo Picasso

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain

A lifetime is more than sufficiently long for people to get what there is of it wrong.
Piet Hein

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
Doctor Who

The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office.
H. L. Mencken

Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.
George Orwell

In a mad world only the mad are sane.
Akira Kurosawa

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney

If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
Emerson Pugh

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein

The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
Nancy Astor

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
Jack Handey

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
Albert Einstein

The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
Nancy Astor

A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.
Friedrich Nietzsche

I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'

..when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion.
Robert Chapman

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.
Hesketh Pearson
Jack Handey

Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
Max Frisch

Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Jean Giraudoux

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
H. H. Williams

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
Henry Kissinger

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr

The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.
Henry Kissinger

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
James Thurber

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
Ellen DeGeneres

What is your Motto in Life?
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The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
Russell Baker

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields

We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?
Ray Bradbury

No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
Thomas Mann

Life is just one damned thing after another.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

Life is something that everyone should try at least once.
Henry J. Tillman

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Life is a long lesson in humility.
James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937)

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon (1940 - 1980), "Beautiful Boy"

The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values.
Norman Thomas (1884 - 1968)

The unexamined life is not worth living.
Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC), in Plato, Dialogues, Apology

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.
Thornton Wilder (1897 - 1975)

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
Truman Capote (1924 - 1984)

Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.
Wally 'Famous' Amos (1936 - )

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
Casey Stengel

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
Cullen Hightower

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Evan Esar

Things are only impossible until they're not.
Jean-Luc Picard

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw

Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.
Robertson Davies

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J. D. Salinger

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Fran Lebowitz

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.
Pablo Picasso

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain