2006 | Life Moto

What is Your Problem?

What is Your Problem?

By Bob Roach

Really, what is your problem? I mean do you wake up every morning like this or is today an exception? I run into people all day long that are miserable. And if I am not careful I could be just like them.
If you knew me you would soon realize that I am one of the happiest people on earth. Is that because I have been luckier in life than you? I do not think so. Well, yes I probably am better looking than you are, but that is not why I am so happy. I might have more money than you do, but that is not why I am so happy either. And there is a slight possibility that you are better looking than me, and an even greater chance that you have more money than I do.
I have a friend that went through life thinking that his wife was his biggest problem. He blamed her for his unhappiness. According to him, he just could not please her because she expected too much. Imagine that, a wife that had high expectations of her husband. She expected him to take her out at least once or twice a week. She expected him to go shopping with her. She generally expected him to be the answer to her life. He always complained that she should be able to entertain herself.
So what about you? What is your excuse? What is making you unhappy? It may be your wife, or your mother-in-law. Maybe it is that new boss you have. Maybe your husband does not pay enough attention to you. The simple truth is you need to identify exactly what it is that is actually making you unhappy.
Most unhappy people, if they told the truth, would tell you they are not happy with them selves. As soon as they realize that they are the problem.... Then they can start to solve the problem. The root of any problem must be discovered before one can consider solving the problem. Now that we realize that it is our own personality that is keeping us from being happy, we are on the way to find happiness.
When my friend discovered that it was his own personality that was causing his unhappiness, he began to heal just a bit. Now do not get me wrong. Finding true happiness is not easy and is a journey that will take work on your part. My friend started working on his own imperfections instead of thinking he could blame his unhappiness on his wifes' imperfection. Gradually such personality flaws as, being self-centered, were replaced by a caring heart for those around him. His sense of too much pride was replaced by a feeling of humbleness, realizing that what ever he was, was because of a power greater than he himself.
So what is your problem? You will have to be honest with yourself. Identify the problem and begin to join the masses of people who are living life by taking their own happiness into their own hands. Let go of the idea that you are only as happy as your friends and neighbors will permit you to be. Realize that the first step to your happiness is knowing that ultimately you are the problem. If you are not happy then it is you who must change.
Bob Roach Father of one and middle school teacher of literally thousands over the past thirty years. To find out more parenting tips write me at: rproach@yahoo.com
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Experience Fear With Today's Horror Movies

By Tom Gibson

What is it about fear that so many of us find addictive? I'm not talking about healthy fears like keeping your hand out of the fire or you'll get burnt, or the general fears which keep safe from harm. No, what I'm talking about is the pleasure we get from voluntarily putting ourselves in from of a horror movie with the sole purpose of scaring the living daylights out of ourselves. Not only that, but it seems that the more fear we experience, the more enjoyment we get! Sounds like a bit of a contradiction that!

For the young lads having a sofa date with a new girlfriend, there is often and ulterior motive as they slide Freddy Krueger into the DVD player, in the vain hope that their new love will cuddle up to them for protection from the terror on the TV.

But naughtiness aside, I think with all the pressures that are put upon us as a modern society, what most folks find appealing in good ole horror movies, is an escape from reality. Ghosts, gore, demons, and monsters from the depths of hell, all do a pretty good job with this. It's often said that staying home is the new going out, and this has never been truer with all the fantastic home entertainment systems that adorn many a living room these days. Watching your horror movies on big screen TV's with stereo surround sound and crystal clear pictures, really does enhance the feelings of shock, fright, and severe panic.

It's a strange thing but I've only been to see one horror movie at the cinema in the last 5 years. Usually, when I go to the movie theatre, it's to watch action or sci-fi movies. Yet at home, I would imagine more than 50% of the films viewed are horror movies. Weird that! Hey, maybe it's because I feel safe in the house!

The great thing about internet shopping is the abundance of movies available online. It doesn't matter what title you want, whether it's the latest release or an old Christopher Lee Dracula movie, you're sure to find it on the word wide web.

The brief escape from reality, which horror movies bring us, means they will continue to be a popular choice in our viewing pleasure. It's not really necessary to analyze why we like horror, because half the fun of watching is the chance to just kick back and enjoy without using any brain power. We don't need to think, just watch through the fingers in front of our eyes. But be prepared and expect the unexpected, because you're gonna get scared, real scared, and we don’t want that, do we?

Tom Gibson is a proficient writer and webmaster of TVForcast dot com where he has articles on New Improved TV flat screens and Projection TV. He also has other ‘TV’ related to pieces on the site.
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Unconditional Love is Absolute Freedom to Screw Up Your Life

by klienwachter

In my lifetime, I have never witnessed enduring unconditional love from another human being. I do not believe it is physically possible. I think that once we have reached that position of being able to give it, we have already passed over to join with the one that is unconditional love. I believe that this state is only experienced spiritually.
It is our inborn desire to move to a place of unconditional love and that is what we strive to do, once we reach a measure of enlightenment that facilitates this kind of growth. As human beings, we attach conditions to our physical love (emotion). I will love you as long as you fit into a set of parameters that I can accept, and live with. Once you have crossed over the line, I can no longer love you. For humans, this is a matter of ownership. Love is not abstract, but something that is real and physical. It is a feeling that we possess and can access.
Universal love (Gods love) is abstract and impartial. It is not felt, but acknowledged. The creator acknowledges the love of humanity,by granting unconditional love (freedom) from him/her.
Humanity is free to screw up his whole life, come back in another lifetime and screw it up again and again until he no longer wishes to experience screwing it up and wants to move on. Can there be a greater example of unconditional love? Re-incarnation is the ultimate expression of unconditional love and helps us with the screwing up process. Every lifetime is a screw-up until we get it perfect, then it becomes a perfect screw-up. Unless of course we choose to call it something else.
There is no reason, save the one you give to your life for being perfect. You are just trying to get there. You do not have to be there. You can take as long as you want to reach that plateau.
This may seem strange coming from a spiritualist, but I believe it is my way of demonstrating unconditional love. We all take our lives away too seriously. We need to chill out. There isn't any advantage to being able to stand back from our lives as the silent observer and judge ourselves without condemnation about who, what and where we are.
All of us are perfect the way we are. Each of us is in the exact place in time and space that is appropriate for us. We do not need anyone's permission to be so. Because we are creating the circumstances and events of our lives, we can do as we please. Any punishment or retribution that we experience will come from others in this lifetime because we have chosen to experience that punishment at some level.
The more aware we are that we create our own experiences, the more freedom we will have to manifest others on demand. Any negative thoughts we may have about the process will determine how successful we are at it.
Once again, the greatest love of all is freedom to live our lives as we CHOOSE with the guaranty that we can do it over and over again until we know longer choose to.
Man does not have the ability to grant unconditional love to another, because in fact he cannot give it away, until he grants it to himself first.

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A student of NLP, ordained minister, New Age Light Worker and Teacher. Roy has written and published five books on New Age wisdom. Roy's books are thought provoking and designed to empower you to take responsibility for your life and what you create. His books and articles are written in the simplicity and eloquence of Zen wisdom.
You may not always agree with what he has to say. You will always come away with a new perspective and your thinking will never be the same.
Roy's style is honest and comes straight from the heart without all the metaphorical mumble jumble and BS.
Visit Roy at: http://www.klienwachter.co/
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The Mind Power Within You

by Gregory Erjavec

Infinite riches are all around you if you open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously and abundantly.

Many are sound asleep because they do not know about this gold mine of infinite intelligence and boundless love within themselves. Whatever you want, you can draw forth. A magnetised piece of steel will lift about ten times its own weight, and if you demagnetise this same piece of steel, it will not even lift a feather. Similarly, there are two types of people. There is the magnetized person who is full of confidence and faith. They know they are born to win and to succeed. Then, there is the type of person who is demagnetised. They are full of fears and doubts. Opportunities come, and they say, “I might fail; I might lose my money; people will laugh at me.” This type of person will not get very far in life because, if they are afraid to go forward, they will simply stay where they are. Become a magnetised person and live a successful life in all areas of life.

You can bring into you life more power, more wealth, more health, more happiness and more joy by learning to contact and release the hidden power of your subconscious mind.

Within your subconscious mind depths lie infinite wisdom, infinite power and infinite supply of all that is necessary to live a life of abundance. Through the wisdom of your subconscious mind you can attract the ideal companion, as well as the right business associate or partner. It can provide you with all the money you need, and the financial freedom to be, to do and to go as you heart desires.

The infinite intelligence within your subconscious mind can reveal to you everything you need to know at every moment of time and point of space provided you are open-minded and receptive. You can receive new thoughts and ideas enabling you to bring forth new inventions, make new discoveries, or write books and plays. Moreover, the infinite intelligence in your sub-conscious can impart to you wonderful kinds of knowledge of an original nature. It can reveal to you and open the way for perfect expression and true place in you life.

It is your right to discover this inner world of thought, feeling, and power, of light, love and beauty. Though invisible, its forces are mighty. Within your subconscious mind you will find the solution for every problem, and the cause for every effect. Because you can draw out the hidden powers, you can come into actual possession of the power and wisdom necessary to move forward in abundance, security and joy.

To learn how you can live a life full of abundance visit:
http://www.successinabundance.com
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Be The Star That You Are

Be The Star That You Are

by Wambui Bahati

When I was a child, I developed a great love and respect for the theater. From my early adult years through the present, I have had the good fortune of performing in some extraordinarily wonderful productions all over the country. It wasn't all a piece of cake though, as the saying goes. Life and work with the theater can be brutal on the psyche.

When I used to audition regularly for shows in New York City, I found it was possible for me to be too tall, too short, too light, too dark, too skinny, too heavy, too young, too old, too pretty, and not pretty enough -- all in one morning.

Auditioning is about waiting or hoping to be chosen. I would enter a room and hope that I was what they were looking for. A role does not necessarily go to the most talented person (talent is after all, relative and depends heavily on personal opinion). It is much more than that though, casting a show is not just about finding the most brilliant performer. It involves finding a person who also fits the physical and vocal characteristics of the character, the right looks and the right voice. And besides that, there are not that many parts to go around. Therefore, no matter how many talented, gifted, awesome, or right-for-the-part people there may be, everyone is not going to get a part.

Even after we're cast and still pretty close to elated about working in a new show, we find that we are very dependent on the decisions of others. There are producers, writers, and designers - a whole creative team is involved in a show. We can be creative within the boundaries that they set. They determine the lines we say, the songs we sing, who the other cast members are and whether or not we will be fired. On top of that, sometimes even the critics end up defining our roles in a given show.
Live theatre is wonderful! Fine actors and an excellent creative team can produce magic. They take someone's story - mere words on paper and give it life, emotion, motion and excitement (hopefully). That's Theater.
Sadly, many of us live our personal lives as if they were someone else's theater production. We live our lives and limit our creativity to the boundaries set by others. Today I encourage you to be your own producer and creative team for your own personal life. We have the ability to produce and star in a magnificent, long-running, spectacular hit. That hit is our life.

Isn't it exciting? We don't have to wait to be chosen. We can cast ourselves in any role we want to play. The key is in deciding what that role might be. And it gets even better. In life, if we decide we don't like our part, we have the power to rewrite it. This is the Joy of (so-called) real-life. Yet, so many of us wait for others to dictate the role we will play. And worse yet, we feel powerless to do anything about it. We react instead of act. We must not allow any outside person or group of people to decide what part we are going to play in our own lives.

In commercial theater, there are no unimportant roles. If the role were not necessary, it would not have been written. Believe me when I say producers are not interested in paying an actor who is not a necessary part of the show. Likewise, the Universe did not create anyone or anything that is not necessary. You are necessary and every part you play is important.
In commercial theater, on nights when there is no show, the theater is referred to as being "dark." If being the star of our own show (remember, in real life every role is a starring role) gets to be too exhausting, we can exit the world stage without exiting life. It's called meditation or contemplation, and some call it prayer.
Closing our eyes and going "dark" is essential for our well-being in the real world too. Use this time to remember your objectives and to thank the Universe that you are in a hit show. Ask the Universe for guidance if there is a particular scene you are having trouble with. Sometimes it might be necessary to write yourself a role where it appears that you are a background player for a while. Just for a little while.
Listen for the cue that you need to hear, see, or feel. If you should happen to miss a cue, wait for the next one. Don't beat yourself up over a missed cue or a late entrance. It's your show. The life critics have no power over you. They cannot shut down your show unless you give them that power. Just like in commercial theater - they are only giving their opinion. That's what they do and it has nothing to do with you. They created that role for themselves.

Stop replaying what you believe to be the missed cues and sour notes of your life. Maybe the drama you are featuring yourself in is physically and mentally draining you. Perhaps you find that the comedy you're playing in now is a little too frivolous for you. If this is the case, then it's time to write yourself some new songs, or at least write some new lyrics to the old melodies. Decide to learn some new tunes and perhaps even a new dance step. What kind of lighting will be appropriate?

Also, consider the script. What are you saying and doing? Are these your words? Are you thinking and feeling for yourself? Write your own script. Make an outline. Have a plan. Are your feelings and thoughts sincere? Are you considerate of others and the parts and shows that they have written for themselves? Do you respect their right to do a show that you may not agree with? If we are really excited about creating, starring, and having fun in our own show, we have no time to be concerned or to criticize someone else's show.
Surrounding yourself with the right cast members is important too. Sometimes it is hard to give your best performance if you are among cast members who are not giving 100 per cent. If you continue to play opposite players who are not playing full out, you will eventually lower your own expectations, believing this is the norm. Don't let any player steal your thunder. Do not give less than you have in order not to make the others look bad. Fire those around you who drain your energy and are unnecessary burdens. Recast those parts with others who understand your "big picture" and have similar goals, those that you trust, and most of all those who you can laugh with.

Your show will be a hit as long as you remember that you hold and have access to all of your show's creative power. Ask yourself from time to time, is this a show that I'm proud of? If the answer is ever no, then rewrite, recast, or exit into the wings and decide what your next cue is. Remember, if you don't cast yourself in your own show, you will, by default, play a role in someone else's show. Why not be a shining star in the greatest show in the Universe - your own show- your life?
About the Author
Wambui Bahati (Miss Inspiration) is a professional inspirational and motivational speaker and entertainer. Her Passion: "Reminding You of Your Magnificence." http://www.wambui-bahati.com http://www.inspiration-motivation-celebration.com

Overcoming Your Panic Attacks And Other Fears

Overcoming Your Panic Attacks And Other Fears
by Stanley Popovich
It can be tough to have to deal with panic attacks and your other fears. Experiencing a panic attack can be very scary for some people. The good news is that there are ways to deal with your panic attacks. Enclosed is a list of techniques a person can use to manage their panic attacks.
When experiencing a panic attack, a person should slow down and take a deep breathe. After doing this, try to do something that will distract you from your current situation. A person could take a walk, read a book or do something that they like to do. This small break will distract you and give you some space from your stressful event.
Another way to manage your panic attacks is to find out what is causing your panic attacks. If you are not sure then talk to a counselor who can give you some reasons on what is causing this. Once you know the source of your panic attacks, they will become easier to manage.
Learn how to manage your fears. A lot of panic attacks are based on fear. If you can manage the fear, you will be able to manage your panic attacks. The key is to find those techniques that will decrease your particular fear. Again, seek the services of a professional who can help you with this. This can make a world of difference in getting the proper treatment.
Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties. Do not try to tackle everything all at once. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.
Finally, learn to get rid of your negative thoughts. Negative and fearful thoughts usually are behind panic attacks. The next time you experience a negative or scary thought, get into the practice of not dwelling on these thoughts. It can be tough, but try to look beyond those negative thoughts. Try to focus on the facts and reality of the situation instead of focusing on your fears.
I realize it is not easy to overcome our fears and panic attacks. Do not get discouraged if you have trouble managing them. With some effort and practice, you will be able to find those techniques that will manage your fears. The key is to not to give up and not to lose your patience.
About the Author
Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

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Using Alcohol Or Taking Drugs Will Not Take Away Your Worries

Using Alcohol Or Taking Drugs Will Not Take Away Your Worries
by Stanley Popovich
At some point in time, you feel lost and confused. No matter what you do, your worries and fears are bothering you. In these particular cases, some people may turn to alcohol or other substances to manage their worries and stresses.
Using alcohol or taking drugs will not take away all of your problems. You might feel better now, but down the road you will feel worse.
So what do you do to manage your fears and worries? The key is in how you manage your stresses and worries. Here are some ways in how to manage your fears and anxieties.
Get some help. Discussing your problems with a counselor can go a long way in overcoming your fears and anxieties. By getting some help, you will learn better ways to deal with your problems. In the long run, you will be successful in dealing with your future problems if you get professional help.
Do not try to get rid of all of your worries at the same time. Determine which of your worries bothers you the most and try to tackle that one first. When you are able to manage this particular worry then go on to the next one. Do not put everything on your plate at the same time. Take it one step at a time.
Do not try to determine what may or may not happen later on. Just focus on the present and do not look too far ahead. Take care of your current problems and do not focus down the road. Use your energy to deal with your curent problems.
Begin to learn what works in managing your worries. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to read a book to feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can read another book because reading made you feel better the last time.
Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that if they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone. This is not true. Even if your alone today does not mean that you will be alone all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy.
Remember that using alcohol or other substances will only make things worse for you. Instead of using these things, get some help and practice using constructive techniques in managing your fears. It will take some hard work and lot of patience. The key is to be persistent and be committed in trying to solve your problem.
About the Author
Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

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Ten Tips for Moms to Stay Motivated Through the Day

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Ten Tips for Moms to Stay Motivated Through the Day
by Bill Weaver

Any mother will tell you that raising a family, keeping a house, and sometimes working outside the home can make little things harder. It is often very difficult for a mom to stay focused and motivated throughout the day. Remembering why you do what you do day in and day out can help you stay motivated. Next time your motivation is lacking, think about these ten little tips to get you through the day.
Motivation determines what and how you do things. Many times, having a clear purpose in mind and keeping an open and good attitude can be great ways to stay motivated. For many moms, that is easier said than done. After staying up all night with the baby, organizing that closet may be at the bottom of the list. There are however, ways to keep yourself motivated so that you can accomplish more and get yourself through the long days of mothering.
Purpose: One important part of motivation is purpose. It does not matter what you need or want to do, you should understand why you are doing it. Purpose gives you a clear mental state and helps you look at your task in an objective manner. If something does not help you reach your end goal, then it should not be one of your goals.
List: Make a list of your goals, chores or jobs. This will help you stay focused during the day and know what you still need to accomplish. As you complete one task, mark it off. Seeing the list of things you have done, can help you feel like you have met your goals and motivate you for the next day.
Don't procrastinate: Avoiding a chore or job does not help you reach your goal. In order to stay motivated, you must work on your job to finish it. Many times, those who procrastinate will not get that job done at all or will feel rushed at the last minute.
Talk about it: Keeping your concerns or feelings inside can lead to reduced productivity. Talk about what is on your mind to a friend, a spouse or even in a journal. Many moms see the benefit of blogging or posting on community message boards as a way of expressing concerns with others.
Exercise: Exercise is a great way to help you reach your goals, even if it is a little amount each day. A good, brisk walk around the block or a quick swim in the pool can help clear your mind and think well during the day. Exercising can give you energy, too. You will feel better and be more motivated to get those chores done.
Eat right: Eating right can also help you stay motivated. Junk food can make you feel sluggish and instead of conquering those jobs, you will really want an afternoon nap. Eat a healthy breakfast and drink plenty of water. Vitamin supplements can also help keep you energized throughout the day.
Expect imperfections: You will not accomplish all of your goals everyday. You should expect some imperfections. In addition, no one should be "super mom". It is ok to buy store bought treats for the school party instead of stressing yourself out over detailed cookies. No one is perfect and if you expect perfection in yourself and in others, it will be near impossible to reach your goals. It is also ok to say no or to ask for help when you need to.
Do not stress: Stress can sometimes motivate us to do things. When the holidays are coming, everyone feels stressed enough to get out and get that holiday shopping completed. However, putting yourself under stress each and every day is not healthy, nor will it inspire you. Stress can put you in a greater danger for depression and other health issues.
Get adequate rest: All moms know that sometimes sleep is hard to come by, especially when you are taking care of infants or sick children. Sleep and adequate rest is important thought. With a good night's rest, you will feel more motivated during the day. If you cannot seem to make it to bed at a decent hour, try to rest during the day while the kids are napping or if you work, try to take a quick rest during your lunch break.
Reward yourself: Rewards can be a huge motivator for anyone. Even if you reward yourself with a new book or thirty minutes of quiet time, you will be more likely to reach your goals with rewards.

FREE information on Motivation and Inspiration -- Every topic is listed! It's FREE! Click here: http://www.powerofpraying.info/
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Learn How You Can Find Happiness

There are many ironic things in this world. A businessperson who has everything in the world may not be happy. On the contrary, a mother who does not own anything, does not have any business, and just depends on her husband's income might be happy.

A person who is able to get a manager position might still be unhappy and he may apply again for a higher position. However, a secretary whose pay is just enough for her family's cost might be happy and love her job.

As a human, everyone has a choice. It is a privilege that is entitled to every person. One of the choices that are very important to choose is being happy. Yes, it is a choice!
Research studies have proven that attaining awareness would lead to happiness. Being aware of the things that you like, and knowing your priorities and goals, are factors that can make you happy. A person who does not know what he wants in life may not be very happy.
Here are some tips on finding happiness:

1. Appreciate Blessings. Being aware of the importance of things within an individual's life plays an important part in becoming happy. An example is thinking that having a car is a blessing. It is important because it can give a sense of freedom on time at work. There is no need to worry for missing the service bus and wait for hours to ride a public bus.

2. Do some repainting at home. Shades of orange and yellow brings an aura of happiness as compared to dark shades of blue.

3. Be appreciative. Appreciating everything that is in life can bring contentment. Attaining contentment is happiness.

4. Write a self-improvement list. Make sure that the things that are on the list will give satisfaction within.

5. Be positive. Remember that good habits attract good things.

6. Listing down the things that trigger bad mood is a good habit. This way, things that might come on the way that can trigger bad mood can be reversed.

7. Find someone to talk to. Release bad feelings. A trusted friend can help release your bad feelings by sharing those bad feelings with him.

8. Try to eat something when feeling bad. Sometimes, being satisfied with the food you eat helps in releasing stress and bad mood.

9. Do not worry about outcomes. Stressing yourself in doing something that is not there usually drives the feeling of being anxious and depress.

10. Be motivated. Motivating yourself to think positively will result to being happy.

11. Be with friends. Being with friends will help in reducing your stress and provides interaction with others.

12. Write essays. This good therapy could release negative moods. It can also relief stress.

13. Go outing. Taking your family to the beach every weekend and playing beach volleyball will help in getting the right mood and having a good start in life.

A person who knows how to appreciate the things that surround him finds greater meaning and purpose in life, which leads to true happiness.

Pleasurable things need not to be expensive. Sometimes, the more expensive things are, the more they loose their value to bring happiness. Material things usually have limited contribution on a person's happiness.

Abbas Abedi--Check out my blog at http://stressmanagementactivity.blogspot.com/
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Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem

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Boost Your Child's Self-Esteem
By Deanna Mascle

Many people have a strong opinion on the importance of self-esteem in children. Some people have a negative opinion and believe too much emphasis is placed on self-esteem today. Other's believe strongly that self-esteem development is crucial in children.

The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldn't be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.

Parents have the most influence on their child's self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.

Be Quick With Praise

When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often don't get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn't know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and "replay" these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.

Lay It On Thick

Be generous with your praise. Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as "good job". For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didn't think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid he'd fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.

Make Them Talk The Talk

Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.

Avoid Name Calling

While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like "I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner" and reward them with specific praise "You did a great job cleaning up your room".

Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening

Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their child's self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.

If you follow these five methods then your child's self esteem will grow.

Deanna Mascle shares more parenting advice in her blog Parents Learn More at http://ParentsLearnMore.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deanna_Mascle

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What is Your Mission on Earth and What is it Not? Ten Misconceptions

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What is Your Mission on Earth and What is it Not? Ten Misconceptions
by Ineke Van Lint

You were sent to earth with a mission to fulfill. This mission has to do with your passion. If you want to be happy and fulfilled with enthusiasm, you have to discover what your mission is and organize your life and activities in function of your mission. Most people have the wrong idea about their mission. Here are some common misconceptions and the truth about what a mission on earth really is :

1. There is no such thing as a life mission and everything is just a coincidence. There is no such thing as Coincidence. We were sent down to Earth with a mission: to increase our ability to love. Everybody’s mission is unique because of the different ways we go about this. You too have your individual way to spread more love around you. Increasing the love energy on our planet is the ultimate goal of every life form on Earth.

2. Our mission or goal exists outside of us and is waiting to be discovered. Your mission is inside you, manifested by your natural talents, desires and passions. Look at what excites you. What kind of activities bring joy and satisfaction? What is it that you spend countless hours on as a kid? Your mission already exists and you knew it already before you came to Earth. The only thing for you to do now is to remember.

3. Our life goal is a particular occupation or profession. Our life goal is not a well-defined activity. It is much broader than a specific career and contains more than how you’re making a living. It’s a mistake to confuse how you provide for yourself with what your life mission is. It is possible to implement your mission from within your working environment, but it is much larger than that. When you meet new or old friends, always are you able to implement your mission, simply because it is an attitude, a sharing of your core talents.

4. Life is on hold until you have discovered your mission. No need to sit around and wait. You may still be uncertain about your goal in life, but that does not mean your life hasn’t started yet or is not significant. Everything you ran into up to this point in your life does have its importance and has brought you to where you are now: on the road of self-discovery and the fulfillment of your mission.Your life goal is continually being revealed to you, all the time. It’s not a one-off discovery, and then that’s it. It is rather an ongoing process than a single moment. The search and implementation continues throughout your life. This is exactly what your life is: the ongoing discovery and implementation of your mission.

5. You have to change in order to be worthy of discovering your mission. There’s no use in believing there is something wrong with you just because you are still searching. Everybody has a specific mission. Everybody is worthy and has the ability of finding his or her life mission. The desire of your soul to fully participate in the world will attract the right circumstances for you and allow your mission to present itself. Moreover, you are already perfectly equipped with the talents needed to fulfill your mission. All that is needed is your awareness. All that is needed is for you to un-cover them, that means, take them off the shelf and into the center of your life.

6. You can fulfill your mission by imitating somebody else. A person’s life destiny is a strictly individual matter and can thusly not be imitated or copied. You can be inspired by the courage and perseverance of another, but you cannot live a copy of that person’s life. A mission is like a suit in the big wardrobe of life. There is exactly one suit that fits you like a second skin, tailor-made for you only. If you try on the suit made for another, you are making two mistakes. First, your own suit remains in the closet, unused. Second, you have taken the suit of another and are thus taking the wrong place in the switchboard of life. If you’re not following your own mission, then you are following that of another!

7. It’s egotistical and arrogant to occupy yourself with your mission. One has heard many times to be of service to others, help your neighbor and be ready to reach out to those in need. Partly, that’s correct. But instead forgetting about the self and helping any random person who crosses your path, it is better to remember your mission and find out where, when and who it is you need to help. This kind of help will be all the more efficient and at the same time gives you much more satisfaction. Helping the forgetful way is only going to give you loads of frustration. Fatigue and exhaustion is the only result of only helping others while not taking the time to recharge your own batteries. Finding your mission in life and living accordingly is neither egotistical nor arrogant. It is your first responsibility. Remember: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” This includes loving the self. Living the implementation of your mission radiates enormous amounts of enthusiasm into your environment. This is a significant contribution to the well-being of all lives you touch.

8. You can discover your life mission by intellectual analysis. You will not discover your mission by analysis or intellectual considerations. It is rather a step-by-step process of discovery, driven by the attitude of introspection (looking within the self), by following your passions and by noticing for fundamental connections in your life. You will discover your mission by listening to your intuition and by taking your dreams and visions seriously.

9. You will become famous once you have discovered your mission. Your mission does not necessarily contain fame and popularity. Many people are implementing their mission with a low profile, in their own personal environment. Your success in fulfilling your mission cannot be measured by external signs such as riches or glamour. The real criteria for measuring success are enthusiasm, joy, energy, satsifaction, the knowing that everything has its meaning and the feeling that you are on the right place doing the right thing with the right people.

10. Pursuing your life goal is hard and difficult. Sometimes, while pursuing your life goal, you will have moments of fear, doubt and anxiety. You might often wonder if you’ve made the right choice, and if you couldn’t have just kept things the way they were. But as you come closer to fulfilling your life goal, these doubts and fears will be replaced by enthusiasm, joy, happiness, satisfaction and the feeling that life has deep meaning.

Written by Ineke. Join the enthusiastics on this planet and do the absolutely-to-do-once-in-your-life program to discover who you are and to learn to say yes to yourself! Find your passion! Create success ! Reward : an everlasting enthusiasm! Two free e-courses on http://www.theenthusiasm.com/!
Article Source: http://www.klienwachter.com/adarticles

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